All In - Natalie Reed (on Atheism and Privilege)
And then there were the demographic issues. The overwhelming degree to which the Atheist/Skeptic community (their distinctions no longer seeming relevant in terms of how it actually functioned, although it never stopped being relevant to what I valued and cared about) was dominated by men. By white people. By cis people. By straight people. And along with that, the privilege. The entitlement. The stubborn refusal to see the lack of diversity as their problem, but instead some kind of failure on the part of women and minorities to not see just how correct and awesome and intelligent they were. There was the repulsive, suffocating degree of misogyny, sexism, transphobia, racism and anti-feminism I saw over and over and over and over again, only being slightly less than a daily occurrence in certain particular pockets of the community that, as a result, were maligned as “radical feminist” or “far left” or any number of significantly more dehumanizing statements, simply for having the slightest capacity to look past their own limited experience and recognize that they don’t necessarily understand, and aren’t necessarily capable of speaking for, the entirety of human experience.
The creepy thought that the reason a lot of outspoken, committed, passionate atheists are choosing this as their arena is because they’re too selfish, too entitled, or too sheltered, to allow any other issues to really matter to them. That they choose this ONE civil rights issue to dedicate themselves to, because it’s the ONLY legitimate civil rights issue that actually effects them, secure in their absence of ovaries, melanin, exogenous hormones, medical devices/supports, welfare checks, track scars and rainbow flags.
This is a really good article.
Sometimes I get the feeling that people who live on the coasts think nothing exists between them.
I am here to tell you, WE ARE HERE.
As someone who spent most of their life in Ohio, I definitely feel this. I think the whole “fly over” attitude has a lot of negative effects, specifically it seems to kind of erase the struggle and problems going on in a huge chunk of the country to said people. If it isn’t in California or New York, it must not be happening. If it isnt a huge city, it doesn’t matter.
But I mean, shit is complicated. I moved out of Ohio for a reason. I moved from small terrible places where I was constantly harassed and at risk to bigger cities for a reason. The midwest has some nasty fucking shit, but so does everywhere else. Even precious “liberal” cities.
I dunno, I’m ranting on someone else’s post at 5 am. But there is definitely a solipsistic attitude people on the coasts have that can be pretty grating and hurtful.
Having panic attacks in public is not fun
Emotions are stupid jerks.
goddamnit I wanted to get shit done, not sit here and think about gender stuff and hate myself for not having a vagina. Yes brain, I am stupid and will always look like a joke. Fuck you. Meh.
Sweet Leaf has been playing in my head, but changed to “Fag Leaf”
Straight people don’t know, what you’re about
They put you down and shut you out
you gave to me a new belief
and soon the world will love you, fag leaf
My mind is a weird place to be. I think “queer leaf” would actually be better, but fag leaf is what’s in my head.
I don’t like the Beatles
I don’t think babies are cute (they look like gross worm buttfaced mutants)
I think Lou Reed’s album Berlin is overrated
I don’t really care for bars (unless I’m playing a show, but even then)
I don’t enjoy weed ( though thats cool if you do, I don’t give a fuck man, decriminalize all that shit, but first make it so we can get all pharmaceuticals without a prescription, for $5)
I hate beer
I don’t enjoy much music made after 1996 or so (but I do enjoy some newer bands, I don’t go out of my way to ignore good new shit)
I don’t understand the appeal of Beyoncé (or most current pop stars that alt people seem to like, though I dig Nicki Minaj)
There are more as I am a curmudgeon, but I’ll leave it at that.
I’ve been feeling rather fucked up on and off all day
I’m feeling very much like a failure. I feel like everything I do, both artistically and for work and generally as a human, is shit and meaningless and worthless. I really want to cry but I can’t.
It seems like pretty much everyone is better than me at everything I try to do. I have no talent, no skill. I’ve managed to be self-employed the past 2 1/2 years mostly out of a fluke.
I know in many ways I’m fucking lucky, I know I have a much better life than many. But that doesn’t change the fact that I feel so worthless and disgusting as a fucking human being….
That time I stabbed myself- New comix
The full story- I was making a pot pie and stabbing slits in it so it could breathe in the microwave. I was holding the pie in my left hand while doing this like an idiot, and managed to stab rather deep in my hand, I couldn’t move some of my fingers properly for awhile and was concerned I’d have permanent damage but didn’t.
I should have went to the hospital probably, but I didn’t. Now I have a cool scar. I also have another scar right next to it from accidentally peeling a piece off my skin of on a nail during a performance art piece.